Oh, hey! It’s been a while. I did a virtual meetup with my writing group this week, and the day before was reminded that we actually had a challenge to complete. The task was to pick a random book from your shelf, open it to a random page, then pick a random sentence. You then had to use that sentence to write something.
In the 15-minute window between finishing work and starting therapy, I grabbed Her Body & Other Stories by Carmen Maria Machado and pulled out this line: ‘Just before dawn, I woke up with a soapy taste gathering around my molars.’
Here’s the poem I wrote from that.
Just before dawn
I woke up with a soapy taste gathering around my molars
Something in my eye
Thrummed a heartbeat
Darting out of view
I turned on the big light
I looked in the mirror
Ignored the map of anxieties creeping below my lashes
And tried to see the culprit
I got a cotton bud
And I know you’re not supposed to use those
For environmental reasons
And also to avoid bursting
An ear drum
But it’s the one act of rebellion
I have left.
I see a thread swimming in bloodshot white
Try to catch it with my rod
The strand escapes
When I try to pull away, a jelly layer of eye stretches with it
Like the chewing gum I fell asleep with in my mouth
That will now call my stomach its home
For seven years
Of bad sex
Of bad luck
Of bad things that happen to bodies when you do things you’re not supposed to
Like falling asleep without brushing your teeth for two minutes or more
Or not properly cleansing your lashes
So mites can nestle inside
Or never getting quite enough good quality sleep
I’ve got away with intact ear drums
I’ve never had a pregnancy scare
My liver function is doing fine
But now my eye is gunk-swollen
And I’m too old to ask my mum to rinse it with a capful of warm water
And maybe to believe in old wives tales about gum never getting digested
But not young enough to dust off wounds and get back up again
Old enough to hope crying counts as a saltwater bath
To get back into bed
And beg to fall asleep for an hour
Before my alarm goes off again