gumstuck

a poem

Oh, hey! It’s been a while. I did a virtual meetup with my writing group this week, and the day before was reminded that we actually had a challenge to complete. The task was to pick a random book from your shelf, open it to a random page, then pick a random sentence. You then had to use that sentence to write something.

In the 15-minute window between finishing work and starting therapy, I grabbed Her Body & Other Stories by Carmen Maria Machado and pulled out this line: ‘Just before dawn, I woke up with a soapy taste gathering around my molars.’

Here’s the poem I wrote from that.

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Just before dawn

I woke up with a soapy taste gathering around my molars

Something in my eye

Thrummed a heartbeat 

Darting out of view 

I turned on the big light

I looked in the mirror 

Ignored the map of anxieties creeping below my lashes 

And tried to see the culprit 

I got a cotton bud 

And I know you’re not supposed to use those 

For environmental reasons 

And also to avoid bursting 

An ear drum 

But it’s the one act of rebellion 

I have left. 

I see a thread swimming in bloodshot white 

Try to catch it with my rod

The strand escapes 

When I try to pull away, a jelly layer of eye stretches with it 

Like the chewing gum I fell asleep with in my mouth 

That will now call my stomach its home 

For seven years 

Of bad sex

Of bad luck

Of bad things that happen to bodies when you do things you’re not supposed to 

Like falling asleep without brushing your teeth for two minutes or more

Or not properly cleansing your lashes 

So mites can nestle inside

Or never getting quite enough good quality sleep

I’ve got away with intact ear drums

I’ve never had a pregnancy scare 

My liver function is doing fine

But now my eye is gunk-swollen 

And I’m too old to ask my mum to rinse it with a capful of warm water 

And maybe to believe in old wives tales about gum never getting digested

But not young enough to dust off wounds and get back up again 

Old enough to hope crying counts as a saltwater bath 

To get back into bed 

And beg to fall asleep for an hour 

Before my alarm goes off again