Oh, hey! It’s been a while. I did a virtual meetup with my writing group this week, and the day before was reminded that we actually had a challenge to complete. The task was to pick a random book from your shelf, open it to a random page, then pick a random sentence. You then had to use that sentence to write something.
In the 15-minute window between finishing work and starting therapy, I grabbed Her Body & Other Stories by Carmen Maria Machado and pulled out this line: ‘Just before dawn, I woke up with a soapy taste gathering around my molars.’
Here’s the poem I wrote from that.
Just before dawn
I woke up with a soapy taste gathering around my molars
Something in my eye
Thrummed a heartbeatÂ
Darting out of viewÂ
I turned on the big light
I looked in the mirrorÂ
Ignored the map of anxieties creeping below my lashesÂ
And tried to see the culpritÂ
I got a cotton budÂ
And I know you’re not supposed to use thoseÂ
For environmental reasonsÂ
And also to avoid burstingÂ
An ear drumÂ
But it’s the one act of rebellionÂ
I have left.Â
I see a thread swimming in bloodshot whiteÂ
Try to catch it with my rod
The strand escapesÂ
When I try to pull away, a jelly layer of eye stretches with itÂ
Like the chewing gum I fell asleep with in my mouthÂ
That will now call my stomach its homeÂ
For seven yearsÂ
Of bad sex
Of bad luck
Of bad things that happen to bodies when you do things you’re not supposed toÂ
Like falling asleep without brushing your teeth for two minutes or more
Or not properly cleansing your lashesÂ
So mites can nestle inside
Or never getting quite enough good quality sleep
I’ve got away with intact ear drums
I’ve never had a pregnancy scareÂ
My liver function is doing fine
But now my eye is gunk-swollenÂ
And I’m too old to ask my mum to rinse it with a capful of warm waterÂ
And maybe to believe in old wives tales about gum never getting digested
But not young enough to dust off wounds and get back up againÂ
Old enough to hope crying counts as a saltwater bathÂ
To get back into bedÂ
And beg to fall asleep for an hourÂ
Before my alarm goes off again